Swedish Hockey Great Peter Forsberg
The Fartfull Work Bench By Ikea. It don't need no motor cause y'all use yer own natural propulsion to move it!
Why Them Swedes Is So Fast On Ice
by Cuzzin Hildy-Bob
Howdy, y'all! If y'all loves yer hockey like I loves my hockey, then y'all know that tons of great hockey players come outta Sweden. Them suckers is fast an' it seems like ain't nobody can catch 'em. I always thunk it wuz cause Swedes jest has a unfair advantage cause they live with them thar Feeyords an so they purty well grow up with skates on their feet from the time their mama pops 'em out of the ole baby chute. But thanks to this here article, yer good ole Cuzzin Hildy-Bob knows the real secret to the Swede speed.
That's right, y'all, it's gas! Them Swedes is so fast cause they eat a lot of flat-yoo-lent foods! Mostly cabbage, I reckon, but I bet they's got some beans in the mix too. An' hard boiledy eggs. And heck, all that extry gas power gots another advantage--ain't nobody wants to git near to the back end of them suckers when they's got that thar gas propulsion a-flowin'!
I always knowed that Swedes was purty smart folks but I didn't know that they done harnessed the power of internal nuclear fission to become the best on ice. Dang smart! Y'all kin be booted fer juicin' up on steroids, but y'all can't be booted jest cause y'all like to eat stuff that makes ya fart!
I'm a-thinkin' that if Ruralia County wants to be taken serious-like, we really needs ta have us a good hockey team this winter, an' I wanna import us some Swedes. Now that I know what kind of folks gives the best unfair advantage, an' I knows how to feed 'em right, ain't no way the Ruralia County Seedpluggers kin lose!
Cuzzin Hildy-Bob
That's right, y'all, it's gas! Them Swedes is so fast cause they eat a lot of flat-yoo-lent foods! Mostly cabbage, I reckon, but I bet they's got some beans in the mix too. An' hard boiledy eggs. And heck, all that extry gas power gots another advantage--ain't nobody wants to git near to the back end of them suckers when they's got that thar gas propulsion a-flowin'!
I always knowed that Swedes was purty smart folks but I didn't know that they done harnessed the power of internal nuclear fission to become the best on ice. Dang smart! Y'all kin be booted fer juicin' up on steroids, but y'all can't be booted jest cause y'all like to eat stuff that makes ya fart!
I'm a-thinkin' that if Ruralia County wants to be taken serious-like, we really needs ta have us a good hockey team this winter, an' I wanna import us some Swedes. Now that I know what kind of folks gives the best unfair advantage, an' I knows how to feed 'em right, ain't no way the Ruralia County Seedpluggers kin lose!
1 comments:
We use the heavy-duty compressor to make our Swedish pancakes.
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